Last week I talked about how freeing it is to accept where you are in your life. And in trying to come up with a topic for this week, I stumbled on a post I started months ago but never finished or published. So, I’m doing that now as it’s a good follow-up to last week’s topic.

Accepting where you are in your life isn’t something that happens overnight. There are a number of factors that you have to consider before you even get to that sort of mindset — which leads me to the first way to accept where you are in your life right now:

Understand that accepting and being ok with where you are is a mindset shift:

Most of us, at least me and maybe a lot of people in my generation are going through life having to unlearn a lot of unhealthy mindsets/habits we’ve grown up thinking are acceptable. As a result, we have to first be open-minded enough to see that this level of acceptance is possible, and then understand that a foundational shift has to occur within our brains.

Patience is Key:

Naturally, a shift in mindset takes a  LOT of time. It requires a racking up of personal experiences and hardships that hopefully encourage that open-mindedness you need to, well, see the light. You’ll have gone through heartache, unhappiness, happiness, love, and the like.

Accepting where you are in your life starts with accepting yourself FULLY:

MAJOR KEY right here, y’all. I mean, it’s just like how being able to love someone fully starts with being able to love yourself. If you’re able to accept where you are in your life but haven’t accepted your flaws as a human, more than likely the acceptance of where you are in your life is actually just settling, or a void-filler. This is the case for me at least.

Stop letting your fear of what people may think of you influence your steps through life:

In my experience, what I think of myself has largely, and unfortunately, been dependent on how I think people perceive me. Read that again, how I THINK people may be thinking about me. When you look at it in context, it’s quite a silly thing to do to yourself, right? From “Does he think I’m pretty?” to “Does my boss think I’m doing a good job?” the answers to these questions have plagued me and shaped the way I address those corresponding situations in my life that is until recently.

At the end of the day, it’s less stressful and ultimately more rewarding to just focus on being the best you, you can be. Remove yourself from toxic environments that make you question yourself; rid yourself of the ‘energy suckers’ of the world.

Focus on doing your best work. The rest WILL come:

This one has been a recently HUGE one for me, especially in my career. I would get soooo bogged down, have so much anxiety and be so stressed out because I was more worried about what people might think of the work I was doing that it’d often impact my level of productivity.

Now, I just put that energy into doing the best work I can. Putting my all into everything that I do, even if what I’m doing bores me. It has really helped a lot of my anxiety and for those of you that suffer from anxiety, you know how freeing being rid of it can be.

Stop convincing yourself that the effort you’re putting in is not enough, it is:

This shit right here is the devil in disguise. And in my experience, this stems from how we compare ourselves to others. We compare our “success” or “lack thereof” to other people’s seeming “success” — at least success as society has made it out to be, and we conclude that we haven’t done enough. Please, stop this. I’m telling this to myself. You’re doing enough so long as you wake up every day and push as hard as you can push. And whatever level of effort that is, it’s enough. I promise.

You guys, I could go on and on about this, but from my experience, I think this is a good start.

As for this look. I don’t really have much to say lol. I love me some good denim-on-denim action and it was fairly decent weather the day we shot this. I’ll be wearing it to death once the weather warms up a bit here in NYC.

STYLE PHOTOS: MYESHA EVON | EDITED BY NAILAH ALI

Have anything to add to my list? Let me know in the comments below! 

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